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A Mantra Way To Better Living

A Mantra Way To Better Living

by Anthony J. Garot

Table of Contents

Dedication

Preface

Introduction To The “Cards Book”

The Concept

The Steps of the Routine

Book Conclusion

Appendix A—Recommended Reading

Appendix B—Recommended Listening

Appendix C—Sample Questions

Appendix D—Sample Mantras

About The Author

Books By This Author

Links

Dedication

I dedicate this book to my sister who is always there for me when I need her most.

Preface

At the age of 43, I went through some troubles in my personal life. I did a lot of thinking. Without a specific conscious decision, I began an intense search for meaning. The search for meaning is nothing new—people have been searching for meaning for as long as there have been people.

During these dark months, I digested various books covering such topics as religion, philosophy, motivation, leadership, psychology—and even business. I learned much, and I found some tools that helped me move in a healthy direction.

Many of the self-help books these days have “step” processes by which you reprogram yourself. These are generally in the form of positive affirmations. The scenario might be, for example, to stand in front of a mirror and read a list that comes with the audio or video presentation. I tried one such prescription for a few weeks, but nothing from their list really stuck. I concluded that their list was too general, too impersonal. I felt that I was being steered by another person’s agenda. Even so, I sensed the power of positive reinforcement and repeated affirmations.

So, as an experiment, I created my own list. (I wish I had kept that initial list—if only for nostalgic reasons.) Over the weeks, which turned into months, which turned into years, I garnered positive results. I am sharing the process I devised with you in the form of this book.

Through this process, I believe that you can:

— redefined who you are

— decisively chose your own goals, paths, and directions in life

— continue to reinforce and revitalize your goals

— enrich your life in many subtle and sublime ways

Since I dislike long prefaces, I will keep this preface short.

Anthony Garot, reginald.p.lizard@gmail.com

http://www.garot.com/

Introduction To The “Cards Book”

Although the proper title of this book is “A Mantra Way To Better Living,” I generally refer to it as the “Cards Book.” That’s what I named the folder on my hard drive that contains the book files, i.e. chapters, images, and supporting documents.

The book is divided into four major chapters with four Appendixes.

A Note On Formatting Within This Book

Before getting started, I will point out that isolated text (meaning on it’s own line) in italics designates any card list item, or mantra, that I have personally written down on a card at some point. Note that I may have eventually abandoned this mantra (see the “Abandoned” section of Appendix D for examples).

Intent of This Book

This point of this book is to help you help yourself. Remember that line from the movie Jerry Maguire?

“Help me help you.”

Your life's direction isn't a simple chemical formula or mathematical equation. Beware of well-intentioned people who hand you guarantees, simple answers, or their answers on a silver platter. Placing your trust in the right mentor can propel you forward, but placing your trust in the wrong person can set you back.

I am reminded of a point early in my career. I was working in Silicon Valley in the mid 1990’s as a level 2 technical support analyst, where Level 1 was phone support, and Level 3 was comprised of the software developers. I wanted to move into a Level 3 position, but as often happens in companies, once you are in a certain position, you become pigeonholed such that moving to the next level is difficult or impossible.

An object or person that has been cataloged is no longer perceived.

I spoke with a colleague about this, and she put me in touch with a friend at Oracle who was a software engineer. What I had hoped from the phone call would be a means to get my foot in the door for an interview. He didn’t help me get an interview; but what he did offer me was advice. His recommendation was I should stay where I was, and that it takes time to grow into a software development job, perhaps up to ten years. I thanked him for his time and realized this man had nothing to tell me.

Saying something is so doesn't make it so.

His reality was not my reality. I was eventually promoted to Level 3, but that was only in name, and so I left the company and became an independent software consultant. Ten years? I don’t think so.

The “Mantra Way To Better Living” method makes you your own mentor and puts you in the driver seat. Ultimately, you are responsible for the direction of your life—not your parents, not your boss, and not the opinions of the well-intentioned who freely give advice from their comfort zone. When I share a mantra with you, I fully expect you to discriminate whether it applies to you or not—don’t just accept it blindly.

I cannot simply hand direct truths to you any more than anyone could hand direct truths to me. Socrates is quoted as saying:

“I cannot teach anybody anything. I can only make them think.”

This book doesn’t even offer to make you think! What this book does offer is a simple technique that I have personally used and refined over time. It worked for me, and I think it will work for you. Consider this technique a framework with rules as simple as the rules of tic-tac-toe. Within the framework, you choose what matters to you; you choose what enters your mind.

The mind is like a fertile garden, it will grow anything you wish to plant—beautiful flowers or weeds.

By consciously selecting what goes into your mind, and through the power of repetition and positive reinforcement, I believe that you can alter your attitude, your life, and your world.

A Practical Method

Through this book, I will spell out a technique that has worked for me.

Nothing over the top is presented: no waterfalls, no genie in the bottle, no vibrations, no rainbows of love, and no unicorns.

In point of fact, nothing new is described in this book. People have turned to inspirational quotations, poetry, meaningful sayings, and scripture for thousands of years. Herein I refer to these as “mantras,” which will be described more later. I have sprinkled many mantras throughout this book to provide examples and to augment the context of the text. Feel free to use these mantras for yourself if they resonate with you.

The charter of the book is to deliver a practical method in a simple, easy to use, package.

Not An Exact Science

The principles in this book are based upon experimentation and personal observation. This isn't an exact science, and no data points are offered. The efficacy of these concepts is not measurable, much like values, love, happiness, and God cannot be measured.

This book is not a rehash of platitudes, but similarly, no secret revelations are revealed. This is not a philosophy book, a political book, a leadership training book, nor is it a book of religion; however, since I am not threatened by any of these concepts, I may interject bits of each to emphasize specific points.

In short, there is nothing in this book you couldn't figure out on your own the same way I did. Consider this book a shortcut.

Be Patient—Results Takes Time

Rome was not built in a day. No quick fixes or “take a pill” remedies work for authentic results. Discovering meaning is a lifelong pursuit—it’s not something that happens suddenly, like satori—the Zen term for sudden enlightenment.

Try these techniques for at least a month—preferably more. If you are like me, you will find yourself thinking better. You will take a better approach toward directing your life. You may even think less, but you will become more thoughtful.

Thoughtless risk is destructive; thoughtless caution prompts inaction to seize opportunities. —abbreviated from Gary Ryan Blair

Larger plans take time to unfold. There is no hurry.

Constant dripping hollows out a stone.

As a personal example, I wanted to become a published author. I always felt that there was a book inside me.

One might say that “wanting” was the first step, but in truth, wanting was not enough. To become a writer, I needed to actually write! I am reminded of something George Bernard Shaw said.

“I bought supplies of white paper, demy size, by six penn’orths at a time; folded it in quarto; and condemned myself to fill five pages of it a day, rain or shine, dull or inspired. I had so much of the schoolboy and the clerk still in me that if my five pages ended in the middle of a sentence I did not finish it until next day. On the other hand, if I missed a day, I made up for it by doing a double task on the morrow. On this plan I produced five novels in five years.”

The realization of my goal occurred only after I planned, prepared, and put in the necessary work.

Few things worthwhile are ever handed to you. Motivation is not enough. If you want something genuine and authentic, you must take the time and put in the work.

Genius is one percent inspiration, ninety-nine percent perspiration. — T. A. Edison

While time is a necessary ingredient to change, personal change and growth don’t occur by themselves. It takes some effort on your part.

Time is a deceiver as it doesn’t do a thing to help us bring about change in ourselves.

History Of This “Cards Book”

I’ve been doing a variant of the method described here for a number of years. I collected many of the items/mantras into spreadsheets. This offered the convenience of sorting the best of the best. I would then print two dozen on nice, heavy stock paper, folded in half. A month or so later, the paper would be bedraggled—covered with new notes, crossed out items, arrows, etc. I would then update the spreadsheet and repeat the process again.

What I found was that the process of adding the mantras to the spreadsheet, culling, sorting, and re-printing was just busy work. Also, I collected far too mantras to be useful. For some reason, I wouldn’t actually delete the mantras when they were in a spreadsheet; rather, I would simply give them a lower rating. Too many mantras became unmanageable.

One day, I purchased an extra pack of 3x5” index cards for a pittance. With these cards, I decided to forego the spreadsheet process for a while and just collect thoughts. 100 cards, front and back, gave a lot of field of play.

I rather liked having 3x5” index cards in my hands with the handwritten items. I liked the flexibility to cross out, highlight, and modify the items.

Perhaps it’s like an old writer I met years ago who wasn’t interested in learning how to use a word processor. He felt it impeded his creative flow. I can understand that—at least to a point. I like jotting down ideas with a pen myself; however, when I assembled this book, I moved to a more appropriate tool.

Does This Stuff Really Work?

I will share with you several personal stories in which I feel that meditating on specific mantras has helped me handle life’s predicaments better.

The Nice Pit Bull

I go for a walk everyday in my neighborhood. Along my route live various dogs. As a general rule, I like dogs. I have befriended several of these dogs whom I see daily.

One particular dog was a pit bull. From behind the fence, he would bark viciously at me, but I noticed that his tail wagging! Over the course of a week or two, I began to pause to say hello before I kept going. Introducing oneself to a strange dog takes patience. The tell was the wagging tail. Eventually I felt at ease enough to offer him the back of my hand through the fence. It turns out that this dog was one of the sweetest, nicest dogs you have ever met!

So, on my daily walk, I made sure to stop and pet him. Sure, I got dog slobber on my hand, but if you like dogs, you realize that’s just part of the transaction.

Well, one day, after I had finished petting this nice pit bull, a guy in a red truck yells to me at the stop sign of the street corner opposite the pit bull. I pulled out my ear buds thinking he wanted directions or some such thing.

This guy was angry!—he saw red. He was steaming mad because I pet his neighbor/brother’s dog!

I tried to talk to him. I told him that I like dogs, that I pet this dog while on my walk, etc., but this guy didn’t want to hear it. He yells, “Get your own dog!” He threatens, “I’m going to call the cops!” (That would be an interesting conversation with the police. I wonder what the police would say to a complaint about petting a dog.)

Anyway, the point of the story is that no one likes confrontation like this. Many people, including a younger version of myself, would mirror the tone of the confrontation and yell back. Of course, this only escalates the situation. I didn’t do this.

Don’t poke a bees nest.

I kept my cool. I tried to talk him down, to diffuse the situation, but I was unable to do so; but I gave him no purchase. I believe that he wanted to be angry; he wanted me to react instead of respond. Eventually I just repeated, “I’m sorry” to his statements of, “I’m watching you” and “I’ll call the cops.”

Looking back, I can honestly say that I am not even a little sorry for petting that dog. One should never be sorry for showing affection for a friendly animal (or human, for that matter).

I haven’t pet the dog since. There is no reason to poke a bees nest—but I didn’t change my walking route either.

The point of the story is that years ago, I would have lost my cool. In this particular case, I diffused the situation without getting angry, and the important thing is that I did so without even thinking about it.

Yes, this stuff works.

The Crabby Neighbor

The other day I was in a conversation with a friendly neighbor across the courtyard (small courtyard). A crabby woman who lives next door to me opened her door, all angry and huffy, because our conversation occurred outside “her” door. The time was around 4:30 PM.

I think she works nights, so she probably was trying to sleep. I can sympathize with wanting quiet. However, her demeanor was such that I could feel the irritation rising inside me. I wanted to tell her off for her rudeness and put her in her place. This wasn’t the first time she has done this, and she did not own the apartment complex.

The point is this: I didn't tell her off. Even though her attitude was abrasive, and I had a right to be in the courtyard, I turned to her, said something like, "Sorry about that." Then I sidestepped further discussion on the matter by pointing out a bee who was trying to get into her apartment. She continued to be crabby. Perhaps she was weened on a dill pickle.

It's hard to deal with a sour human being, yet life keeps handing us this lesson. What’s the correct response?

There are two things I want from a situation like this:

1. To not let anyone provoke me to anger. That’s not to say I need to let people walk all over me. If pushed hard enough, I would tell her to go ahead and complain to the property manager. I can do so as long as I keep my cool.

Neither be antagonistic nor compliant.

2. To accept my irritation—then let it go. This isn’t easy, but I can assure you that it becomes easier over time. I contend that it becomes easier when you have spent time meditating, and that’s where this book can help.

So here are a few mantras that I have used that may work for you:

I will not lose my cool when provoked by someone’s anger.

The richest person is the one with a cool mind—free from tension and anxiety.

The Unethical Property Management Company

Sometimes even the most wary person falls into a trap, and this time it happened to me.

The short version is that I gave “earnest money” toward a unit, but when I read the lease, I was so appalled by the extra fees, arbitrary fines, and general tenor that I could not sign it. I felt that it was better to lose the earnest money, than to do business with a lease that was, as a professional put it, “onerous and set up to abuse tenants.”

A week later, I got in touch with an attorney. I met with her at her office to tell her my story. After we concluded and I collected my things to depart, she said, “You seem awfully composed about this.”

I replied, “Eastern philosophy and meditation helps.” That was a simpler answer than describing this “cards system.”

She was right, though—I was composed! My description of the events was animated, but I was able to convey the entire story without becoming distraught or losing my cool. I was quite upset when it first happened, and I did lose sleep the first night or two, but within a few days I was able to detach myself from the situation. I was able to look at it calmly and rationally. This occurrence would not interfere my life.

I will not let the behavior of others destroy my inner peace.

Buy the full book:
A Mantra Way To Better Living

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